Everything You Need to Know about Malaysian Weddings
Weddings are some of the most beautiful events you can experience in your lifetime, whether as a guest or the bride/groom. This majesty is further taken up a notch when you experience a Malaysian wedding thanks to the different traditions associated with this grandiose event.
These traditions and customs aren’t just for show. They have extremely important meanings behind them that can be traced back to the country’s multiethnic nature.
To give you a better idea of what weddings are all about in this country, check out some of the most common Malaysian wedding traditions below:
Merisik
Also known as “Visit and Observe”, this tradition is considered the first step of a Malaysian wedding. It’s a vital pre-wedding tradition wherein the groom’s family and relatives visit the soon-to-be bride’s home to learn more about her, more specifically, her background.
Usually, this tradition was done to find out if the woman is already engaged with someone else before the wedding. Nowadays, this is only done as a formality since the couple already know almost everything about each other.
It’s still an important pre-wedding tradition, however, as it lets the in-laws meet and learn more about each other. Furthermore, it lets them discuss the engagement date.
Meminang
As soon as the engagement is set and the in-laws have agreed to the wedding, it’s time for the groom to propose. Meminang is also known as the proposal but it’s not like the one you’re accustomed to that you mostly see in movies.
With Meminang, it’s not the groom who’ll “pop the question”. Instead, an older family member of the groom will visit the bride’s home and present the proposal on behalf of the groom.
She will then be given more than enough time to decide whether or not to accept the proposal, which is a key factor in Malaysian culture. More specifically, Malaysian culture encourages us to never jump the gun when it comes to these kinds of important decisions.
Adat Bertunang
Also known as simply Bertunang, this tradition is the engagement stage of the Malaysian wedding. It’s held after the bride has accepted the proposal and it’s also during this time when she’ll receive the engagement ring.
An engagement period in Malaysian culture can last anywhere between six months to three years. Again, this duration is an important factor in the culture, as it gives ample time for the couple to prepare for the wedding itself.
The engagement ring can either be presented by the groom itself or by the senior female member of his family. Furthermore, aside from the presentation of the ring, matters such as the dowry and customary gifts are discussed during this pre-wedding tradition.
What are dowry and customary gifts?
Dowry and customary gifts symbolize the beginning of the groom’s commitment to providing for his wife and their eventual family. Although these offerings are required by the culture, the wedding itself can continue without them.
Adat Berinai
Adat Berinai can simply be described as a way of honouring the special event through the application of henna ink. Applying a henna tattoo isn’t just for aesthetics, as it’s an important symbol in Muslim weddings.
It’s believed that by applying the special ink on the bride and groom’s feet and hands, bad luck and evil spirits will be fended off.
Furthermore, there are three different kinds of this ceremony, namely:
- Berinai Curi
- Berinai Kechil
- Berinai Besar
Berinai Curi is reserved for the bride along with her bridesmaids while the latter two are enjoyed by the couple. Moreover, it’s not mandatory to hold three of these ceremonies, as some couples opt to only have one Berinai.
Akad Nikah
The Akad Nikah is also known as the solemnisation ceremony, which can also be looked at as the wedding ceremony itself. This is because it’s during this tradition when the marriage contract gets signed and the wedding vows are cited.
However, the solemnisation ceremony is a bit different than usual weddings. For starters, it’s headed by a Wali, which takes the form of the bride’s father, uncle or brother, and an Islamic official.
This ceremony can either be held inside a Mosque or at the wedding reception itself. In some weddings, the tradition of holding the solemnisation at the bride’s home before the event itself is still being practised.
Regardless of the location, verses from the Quran will be involved in the ceremony and the officiant will talk to the groom about his new responsibilities. As for the bride, the officiant will make sure that she is indeed happy with the marriage.
Majlis Persandingan
Another kind of Malaysian wedding ceremony is the Majlis Persandingan, also known as the “enthronement”. In this traditional way of celebrating marriage, the groom takes on sort of a bigger role, as he’s tasked to complete various tasks set by the bride’s friends and family.
As for the bride, she’ll be waiting for the groom to complete the given tasks from the comfort of her own elevated platform, usually sitting on a couch. Additionally, she’ll be dressed in her full wedding dress along with the associated accessories covering her face with a hand fan.
Once the groom finishes the tasks and reaches the bride on the elevated platform, their friends and relatives will give their warm wishes.\
Bersanding
Simply put, Bersanding is a Malaysian wedding’s version of a reception where the newlyweds are treated like royalty. During this time, the couple are seated on lavishly-decorated seats while their family members and friends shower them with congratulatory remarks and gifts.
Aside from the aforementioned remarks, the newlyweds are also showered with yellow rice and flower petals, which make for a great photo opportunity. However, it does have a meaning behind it as these two items symbolize fertility.
As for the rest of the event, you can expect to experience the usual things you can expect from a wedding reception. This includes eating good food, listening to jolly wedding music, interacting with friends and families, and so on.
Wedding Gifts
It’s customary to offer wedding gifts to the newlyweds before leaving the reception. The advised gift to offer is money to help give them a headstart on their new life as a married couple, and the amount will depend on how close you are to them.
Dress Code
Traditionally, guests of the wedding are advised to dress modestly if they’re attending an Islamic reception and ceremony. There are several ethnic outfits and clothes that you can choose from including but not limited to the following:
- Batik
- Baju Melayu
- Kurung
- Kebaya
As for Western ceremonies and receptions, you can opt to wear skirts that aren’t too short and blouses that fully cover the shoulders. For men, a suit or a combination of a formal shirt and pants will suffice.